By David Pierce
I am terrible at texting. I don't mean to be. But too often I'll
get a text, start to respond, then get distracted by work or my dog
-- and suddenly it's four days later and I forgot all about it.
"Sorry, just seeing this" is the lie I tell most often.
Of course, my apps frequently betray me. When I'm in Facebook
Messenger, WhatsApp and most other popular messaging apps, a small
update goes out letting the sender know as soon as I open a
message. These are read receipts. I pronounce them "reed" receipts,
not "red" receipts, though this is a matter of some debate. However
you say them, they're a problem.
They create social pressure inside every thread, demanding that
you respond immediately or else be seen as ignoring the chat. They
give your contacts a real-time window into your digital activity,
the ability to spy on you as you look at your phone.
Texting and email took off in part because they gave people some
agency, letting us manage our messaging on our own time rather than
leaping every time the phone rings. Read receipts take that away
again. They force us to chat on someone else's schedule.
In some cases, you can turn read receipts off or control them
more finely -- and you should. In too many places, though, read
receipts are simply a fact of messaging life. And as messaging
continues to be a crucial part of how we work and socialize, read
receipts feel less like a handy feature and more like a gross
invasion of my privacy.
Anybody Home?
Read receipts have many forms: In WhatsApp, a check mark that
says you've sent a message turns to two checks when it has been
delivered -- and both turn blue when it has been read. Facebook
Messenger, Google Hangouts and other apps actually use tiny icons
of your face to indicate how far you've read in a conversation.
Apple's Messages app may be the frankest of the bunch, with just a
small "Read" underneath your message, along with the time it was
seen.
At their core, read receipts create a disconnect: They are good
for the sender and terrible for the recipient.
When you send a message, of course you want to know when it has
been read! You poured your heart and soul into that email/text/long
string of emojis, and you're looking for some immediate
acknowledgment -- of not only that your message was transmitted
properly and arrived at its destination, but also that it was
actually seen. You can breathe a sigh of relief. And wait for a
response. Speaking of which, what's taking so long? How rude that
they opened your all-important email/text/long string of emojis
five minutes ago and still haven't said anything back?
On the receiving end, it's a minefield. Your phone dings with a
message. You know that as soon as you look, whoever sent it will
know. If it's from your boss, opening the message -- and triggering
that receipt -- immediately voids all plausible deniability.
"Sorry, it was late and I wasn't checking my phone" doesn't fly
when that tiny "Delivered" icon in Apple's Messages app turns to
"Read 9:02 PM."
If it's from a friend, you might be expected to drop everything
and respond; ditto for that person you've been on two dates with
but haven't yet decided about a third. If you don't respond
immediately, you're "leaving them on read," akin to intentionally
ignoring someone who is trying to talk to you.
Read receipts are particularly pernicious in email, a medium
that was never designed for real-time communication. The email app
Superhuman recently came under fire for embedding tiny hidden
images called "tracking pixels" in messages to show senders every
time their messages are opened and where recipients are at the
time. This is common practice for many email providers, of course,
and is typically used by marketers to track users in their inboxes
the same way Facebook and Google follow you around the web.
That's creepy enough. Superhuman made it a default behavior,
even for one-on-one communication. Nobody needs to know whether, or
when, I read their email. Superhuman responded to the criticism by
turning read receipts off by default and deleting all its existing
location data.
In a few cases, like fast-moving work conversations where
everyone needs to be paying attention, read receipts can be a good
thing. A read receipt can also act as a sort of head-nod among
close contacts, a quick acknowledgment that you've seen the grocery
list or the new meeting spot.
In most cases, though, like algorithmic time lines and
never-ending recommendation rabbit holes, read receipts are just
another thing to keep us wedded to our apps. Read receipts force
you to join the party whether you're ready or not.
How to Turn Them Off
Nearly every messaging app turns read receipts on by default --
or urges you into it when you first start it up. Here's how to take
back some control over your read receipts, at least where you
can.
In Apple Messages: On your iPhone or iPad, open Settings and go
to Messages, then toggle "Send Read Receipts" to off. (This setting
appears only if you have iMessage turned on.) Useful bonus tip:
Apple is the only service I tested that allows you to control read
receipts in individual conversations: Open up a chat window, tap on
the person's name, select Info and toggle "Send Read Receipts."
In Android Messages: This mostly isn't a problem, since typical
SMS text-message technology doesn't support read receipts, though
some newer standards do. Just in case, go to Settings > Chat
features, then toggle off "Send read receipts" if you see the
option.
In Facebook Messenger and Instagram: You can't turn read
receipts off in Instagram. Facebook says it's really important for
people to know their messages are being seen. Facebook should
change this.
In WhatsApp: Go to Settings > Account > Privacy and toggle
off "Read receipts." You'll no longer send or receive receipts. You
can't turn them off for group chats, though.
In Twitter: You can turn off read receipts for DMs in Twitter by
going to Settings > Privacy and safety, then unchecking the
"Show read receipts" box. You won't send out receipts, nor will you
receive them from others.
In Email: Every email app is different, but you can often reduce
read receipts just by turning off automatic image loading. If your
email won't load the tracking pixel, the pixel won't report back.
In Gmail, this feature is under Settings > General > Images.
Select "Ask before displaying external images."
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(END) Dow Jones Newswires
July 21, 2019 09:14 ET (13:14 GMT)
Copyright (c) 2019 Dow Jones & Company, Inc.
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